Effective communication is
important to me because it forms the foundation of relationships I forge with
people, both close to me as well as with strangers. It has the ability to
strengthen a relationship made just seconds ago and weaken/break a relationship
fostered years ago, almost instantly. Beyond
ensuring that the intended meaning of my message gets accurately understood by
others through effective communication, the content and manner I communicate may
be used by my audience to judge if this relationship is worth pursuing. Thus,
it determines the type and quality of relationships I make with others.
Effective communication is
also important to me because it is so easy to make mistakes knowingly and
unknowingly while communicating. For example, there are times when I fail to
remember that the nature of communication is collaborative rather than competitive and try to ‘win’ every
conversation I have with others, as though I am arguing for my stand in essays.
I forget that communication involves the exchange of ideas and hence ought to
be two-way. Consequently, I might appear as an overbearing and unreceptive person
and this is certainly not how I would like to be perceived as. Another mistake I
frequently consciously/unconsciously commit is that of being a poor listener
and being too quick to pass judgement about what others say before fully digesting
their entire message. Not only might I misinterpret their message, I also lose an
opportunity to learn from their experiences as I believe that there is always something
to learn from others.
This post has reminded me
and made me more aware of the importance and my purpose for communicating
effectively with others. So, from now on, I will try my best to put my
understanding into action.
Hi Xi Min. I like the point that you highlighted in red. I feel that communication becomes more collaborative rather than competitive when the relationship between the sender and the receiver becomes unhealthy. This is due to either miscommunication or ineffective communication. Are you referring to a case of ego fight between the two Xi Min? I feel that an ego fight is a communication barrier between two people in a conversation. This communication barrier is most common in boy-girl relationships leading to ugly breakups or foul words exchanged. Unfortunately words cannot be taken back and thus I have to thank you for highlighting the fact that man must take effort in mastering effective communication skills to avoid ugly encounters in his life. This has been an interesting read. Thanks for sharing Xi Min:)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments! An ego fight is not only a barrier to effective communication but also prevents things from getting done. It is like committing a red herring fallacy. No doubt, we should treat each other sincerely and try to be more open to ideas.
Deletehello xi min :)
ReplyDeletei do agree that misunderstandings may arise when communication may be geared (intentionally or unintentionally) towards a competitive front instead of a collaborative manner. Do pardon me if I may have misinterpreted your text, but would you consider debating as a form of competitve communication? I've always had the impression that debaters are so aggressive and rapid in their urge to get a strong message across to their opponents (and judges?) to defend their stand. It may be a two-way communication as they have to exercise quick listening and swift-thinking to come up with relevant rebuttals and create new points.
However, I will have to agree that I will be pretty threatened if you communicate with me in a debating manner. I can't think pretty fast.
I guess it's okay to have competitive communication during debates because that's the function of it anyway. But I don't think it will be so appropriate elsewhere. There are other ways of influencing people's thinking without out-rightly shooting down their points.
DeleteHi, Xi MIN, So happy to read the story about effective communication you shared. I was touched by your viewpoint that it is important to be a good listener. When we involve in communicating with others, even though we have every good reason and right perspective, we still need to listen to others patiently, just as you mentioned and there has a chinese proverb "Three human of lines must have my teacher", we still can learn something from other's experience. I like the words you highlighted in red, sometimes I am so eager to argue the point I stand for but forget the arts of communication, result in embarrassment within friends. From my experience, tone and emotion also important in talking, accompanying With proper tone and emotion, debate can also lead to happy ending. Hope to see your next sharing. Happy New Year!!
ReplyDeleteZi hao, thank you for your comments. It is certainly important to sometimes keep completely quiet to listen and process what others have said before starting to speak. Also, I think envisioning a positive and pleasant outcome from a heated debate can also help in truly achieving it. I'm just curious, may I know what is the Chinese proverb in Chinese?
DeleteThanks, Xi Min, for this very concise, well-focused post. I like the way that you zero in on the interpersonal aspect of communication, asserting correctly that the way one communicates can determine the very nature of one's relationship with others. You also "open up" and reflect on your own characteristics and experience, showing the ability to be self critical. That is an important first step in learning, in growth, and I appreciate your willingness to share this with me and your peers.
ReplyDeleteThis post has also generated interesting commentary from your classmates. A fine effort!